With Friends Like These…
Where would we be without our friends?
Last week I had a fever and spent an entire weekend in bed. After sleeping through as many daylight hours as I could, I looked for something to watch on Netflix. No TV in my room, but I always have my laptop.
I love a mystery and since I discovered this year that I actually like shows based on YA books, I decided to give Pretty Little Liars a chance.
If you haven’t seen it, it’s about 4 friends who are trying to solve the mystery of who killed their other friend Alison, and who is still cyber-stalking them.
It’s a fun show and I like that there is a mystery to solve without as much of the gore and scariness of a non-YA show. I may be intrigued, but I’d never be able to watch Criminal Minds and sleep through the night.
During each episode there is a flashback scene to when Alison was alive. She was not a nice person, nor a good friend. She knew all the other girls’ secrets and held them against her friends.
Watching the show got me thinking about friendship.
In middle and high school, we all had those friends. The girl who wasn’t really our friend but she was popular and we were too excited that she was talking to us to care that she wasn’t treating us like a friend.
As we grow and mature, we become more confident in ourselves and we begin to expect more from our friends. After high school we stop the gossip and we learn that friends don’t talk behind each others’ backs.
We know that our family is a big influence, but sometimes we don’t realize the impact our friends make in our lives.
In the show, once Alison is gone the girls become stronger in who they are and realize that although they loved Alison, she dragged them down. Their friendship without her is the exact opposite.
Our friends can lift us up or they can hold us back so we stay in the same spot as them.
Good friends encourage us to be our best selves.
In college, my friend Kourtney invited me to go to the gym with her and then encouraged me to keep going. Her friendship started the healthy habit of working out that I still have in my life. We drifted apart after graduation, but her friendship left an imprint on my life that I will always remember.
After college my friend B.G. was my running buddy. She didn’t just help continue the healthy exercise habit, she was the one who taught me how to stand up for myself. She pointed out when people, be it other friends, guys, or my mother, weren’t treating me right. And she told me that I deserve better, but that it’s my job to make sure that happens.
Since then I’ve had many friendships begin and end. Now I have high standards for what I expect in a friendship. And B.G. is still there.
Right now my friend Jasmine tells me she is proud of me for moving across the country without really having a plan. She calls me her “Brave Emma” when telling people the story of how I got to Raleigh. It not only makes me feel like I’m ok where I am right now, but it makes me feel like I can do anything.
My dreams aren’t too big or too crazy because I have friends who believe in me.
And the newer friends I’ve made over the last few years have been just as amazing. Friends who encouraged me in all areas of my life. Lifted me up and inspired me. Told me it wasn’t crazy to pick up and move for no apparent reason. Made me feel normal for thinking Zac Efron is hot. You know who you are.
Wherever we are right now, our friends have helped us get there. They have either encouraged us to move forward or held us back in place with them.
Our friendships say a lot about us, and we get to decide who those friends are.
How have your friendships effected your life? Do your friends bring you up? Is there anyone in your life who isn’t adding to it positively?
I’ve had a lot of great friends over the years. I’ve grown apart from some of them, but I still love them for the good things they brought into my life. One friend in particular in high school was influential in my continuing to write. She made me feel like it was the coolest thing ever that I could come up with stories and put them down on paper in an interesting way.
I’ve also had to slowly let go of friendships that haven’t been so good. I usually hang on long past when I should have let go because I want to give the person every possible chance. Unfortunately, sometimes enough is enough (like we were talking about earlier this week).
I had to give up watching Criminal Minds. It was making me way too paranoid about every bump in the night
It can be so hard to give up on friendships, even when we know they are not good for us! I always think, though, it makes such a big difference that when we look back we wonder why we waited so long. I’m so glad that you have a friend who is also a champion of your passion for writing. It is important to surround ourselves with people who believe in us, isn’t it?
Miss you
but so proud of you, too.
Aw, thanks! I miss you, too.
I’m with Marcy – friends come and go but they each enrich my life for the time we walk together. It’s grand. I am very fussy about my closest friends. those relationships take time and availability which is very limited in my life right now. But my besties understand because they’re just as busy.
Yeah, I think that is a good way to look at it. They enrich our lives for the time we walk together. Beautiful way to put it. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever, but the good friends leave us better people for having been in our lives. At least that’s the case with my friends.
Friendships are gifts we give each other. At least the good ones are. If it’s a good one, it survives time and distance. I have a bestie from high school that I still keep in touch with, not as intensely, not as often, but she still has a warm spot in my heart and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
Thoughtful post, Emma. Thanks.
It is nice to have friendships that last so long. I have one friend who I have known since I was about 5, I think. I was too young to actually remember when we met. We don’t talk often now, but when we do see each other we have an instant connection and we pick right up from the last time we were together. It’s nice for both of us to have someone who has known you for so long.
[...] Pretty LIttle Liars got Emma Burkhart thinking about the friendships in her life – the real ones and the earlier, not-so-great [...]