Whose Plan Is It Anyway?
Welcome to Raleigh!
I had a plan.
But things haven’t been working out accordingly. Actually, they’ve been falling apart completely.
The jobs in Miami took forever to post. And it didn’t get any better once they posted. I’d call to get the principal’s email because it wasn’t listed anywhere on line. The secretary would politely tell me that all the jobs were already filled. Literally five minutes after they posted.
I got one phone call from a principal. Her school was way outside of the city, and it was first grade, not ESL. But, she couldn’t find my file online. Because she hadn’t actually posted the job.
I was beginning to see how things worked there.
I had done everything to prepare for a teaching job in Miami. I had my reference letters, I got my Florida license, I’d been talking to Human Resources, and researching the areas where I wanted to be.
But with every phone call I made and every time I checked the website to find nothing, it felt like a huge wall going up.
Like I was having to push upstream and all those other metaphors about having to work too hard. It shouldn’t be like that. I wanted flow.
When I first got the idea to move to Miami everything seemed to fall into place. Things were easy. But, now that I was this close everything changed.
It came down to what I was willing to do to live in Miami.
I could teach English to adults for not very much money. I could work at a preschool daycare for even less.
Wasn’t I the one who said I’d work at Starbucks in order to live there?
I can live on very little. I’m not an extravagant spender. But I do have student loans and a car payment. And the truth is: I like to feel financially secure. I like a back-up plan and plenty in savings.
Maybe this whole quitting my job and moving across the country wasn’t the best idea ever.
But I knew I needed a change.
So I got back online and looked for jobs. And I finally took my friend’s advice and applied for teaching jobs in Raleigh. Plenty of the schools are year-round, so they’re pretty much always hiring.
There was no movement from Miami. The same few jobs on Craigslist that wouldn’t even cover my bills and would leave me no time for writing.
But Raleigh started calling. ESL and intervention jobs, working with small groups of kids. I scheduled a few interviews and both of the first two interviews went so well I didn’t need to go on anymore.
Two job offers in two days in Raleigh.
After months of nothing from Miami.
I had a choice. I could either stay in Raleigh with a steady job that I enjoyed or go to Miami jobless and hope I’d find something. Anything.
It seemed kind of obvious. Sometimes things aren’t really up to us. Raleigh clearly wanted me and Miami was throwing up big barriers to keep me out.
It reminded me of the scene from That 70′s Show where Jackie has to choose between Kelso and Hyde. She dumps both of them and chooses herself. And she gives one of the best answers ever: She says if she could run down a beach into her own arms, she would. That’s what I wanted.
I just had the wrong beach in mind.
I could either live for Miami, doing whatever I could to get by. Or I could live for myself, in Raleigh.
So I chose me.
Miami will always be there. And working at a year round school, I’ll have time to visit. And the best part is I picked the job that is 80% time so I can have more time for writing. And in Raleigh that is possible.
It just feels right.
Sometimes plans don’t turn out exactly as we hoped for. But what we get is usually better, in the long run. It just comes down to knowing what we really want.
Have you ever had plans change on you? How do you feel when things don’t work out the way you wanted them to? What big choices have you made in life?
My Mom would say it’s less about the details (living in Miami) and more about the feeling you are trying to create for your life. Keeping an open mind to finding it along the journey is what it’s all about. I love how you’ve let go of the details to create the feeling…it’s a beautiful thing and a great reminder to us all. Sometimes the dream doesn’t look EXACTLY how we pictured it and we need to be open to that. This sounds like perfection to me. Congrats on the new job and the immense success to come…squeee!!!
Oh, the details! That’s the part that always gets me. I know I focus too much on the details going right that I tend to lose track of the big picture. I LOVE your mom’s point of view! It is the feeling that matters. And I get the feeling that Raleigh is right for me, at least for now. Thank you for your support! It feels good to have people be excited with me.
My husband and I originally planned to get married in May of 2010, but because of some family drama, we were forced to change our date to September 2010. It seemed like a huge deal to us to have to change the plans we made because we knew that a delay in the wedding also meant a delay in immigration which meant longer apart and a whole host of other problems. But in the end, it worked out for the best because my husband got a job just a couple months after his permanent residency came through. If we’d gotten married when we originally planned, that job wouldn’t have been available so quickly and we would have likely had to struggle longer on my income. Sometimes things works out for the best even if they don’t work out quite the way we thought they would.
I’ve always been able to say that with other people, but I’ve had a hard time accepting it myself. But, this time I think it’s true. If I was in Miami I’d be jobless and lonely. And probably scared. Here I have friends and support and I can already feel how great things are. It really is what is best. You probably had a lot of those same feelings when you had to change your plans. It sure is easy to get caught up in the details.
I have really enjoyed reading about your adventures, Emma! It sure does sound like the universe was trying to tell you something – smart that you listened! It sounds like you’ve said yes to a great opportunity, and you even have friends in Raleigh. I love your attitude that Miami will be there later. Good luck!
Thanks! It was a little sad to let go of Miami for now, but knowing that I may still end up there makes me smile. I mean, really, we never know how things are going to turn out, do we? I guess that is supposed to be the fun of it.
I firmly believe in following the wave of the universe, if you will. I absolutely love your reference to 70′s show … running into your own arms. That’s pretty powerful!
I with you the BEST of luck in the new job in your new city. And soon, I hope in your new CrossFit.
The wave of the universe! I love that! Yeah, I’m excited to find all my new places here now that I know I’m staying. I’m not just a visitor any more. Thanks for your support along the way!
I’m definitely a believer in the idea that things happen for a reason, even when it feels wrong, or things don’t turn out the way we had hoped they would. This happens to me all the time, and I’ve found that eventually, I’m usually grateful that something I had wanted didn’t pan out because it opened the door for something else. Best of luck in your new job!
You’re right. I’ve had that happen before, but I guess I forget those times. Thanks for reminding me. It probably means that things wouldn’t have turned out the way I wanted them to if I’d forced Miami to happen.
I’m with Ginger and Alana. Sometimes the universe IS trying to tell us something.
Like you, I had to change my life plans because of the circumstances, but almost all of these decisions turned out to be even better than the ones I had originally planned.
I hope you’ll be very happy in Raleigh. You’ll have many opportunities to visit Miami.
So happy for your new job, Emma. Enjoy the extra-time writing
Thanks, Fabio! I’m hoping to take advantage of the time. That alone should make Raleigh the best choice for me!
I so agree with Natalie on the feeling vs the details! I think it’s a combo of our gut and the Universe talking. Congrats on landing a job and I wish you all the best Emma
Thank you! I’m really excited to see what happens now.
Funny, something very similar happened to me and my husband. He’d been doing an intensive job search, and invited to come interview in Florida two or three different times. (different places). But when he met the people, they really didn’t seem to want someone from out of state there. They acted unorganized and disinterested. And these are people who paid to bring him there to meet them! It was so odd. After banging his head against that wall for a bit, he found the job we’re now about to move across country for. The place he’s going is wonderful. They all liked each other, they WANT him there…there’s a LOT to be said for that.
The whole time we were in Philly we couldn’t wait to get back to Dallas. Now we’re headed out again to the east coast, but this time I’m thinking we’ll be okay where we land. The universe seems to want us there
Best of everything in the new job Emma! Enjoy the ride
How funny! I guess it is a time of big change for a lot of us. The East coast is fun, and I have to say it feels kind of cool to be living in a different time zone.
I hope the move is a wonderful change for you and your husband.
I first traveled to the west coast as a young man at age 19. I fell in love with San Francisco at first sight. I loved everything about it.
The weather. The food. The women. The art. The music. The literacy. The ease of being a human being .
I returned to Boston and kept thinking I had to get back there. A few years later I took another trip with amigos and again remembered what I loved about the place.
Within a year was headed back to the west coast and SF. Romantic complications led me to flee the Beige Area again for the relative safety of Eugene where I had friends.
On and off over the next few years I ventured back to Bagdad-by-the-Bay. I tried to find work there. I worked various odd jobs. But could not stick.
I kept returning to Oregon. And finally Oregon stuck. I started a career, a marriage, a family and lived a full life in Oregon.
I don’t regret it.. for among all these things I gained a wonderful daughter who is courageous and eager to take on life.
So thinking about it.. In the end I never ended up living in SF. But notion of living in SF was never more than the expression of an ideal.
The ideal of living on the west coast was achieved. Because the real aim wasn’t actually living in at a specific zip code. The aim was to be free of the stultifying life I grew up in in the Midwest. SF represented an open-minded contrast to the pretentious pompous posturing of the east coast ruling class.
So in my own way I found my San Francisco.
I think that you have found “A” Miami for a while. But it’s just the beginning.
BE well dear daughter.
Thanks, Dad. I’m glad things turned out the way they did, too.
Emma, I’m so glad that things fell into place for you, and that you were open enough to embrace it. Sounds like quite a “crony” teacher network in Miami – they are just going through the motions to do things the way they are legally required to. Yikes.
I don’t follow your blog every week, so I hope you don’t mind me asking: what was so special about Miami for you?
Thanks,
Kathy
I went to Miami last year and just instantly fell in love with the city. It is warm, there is water everywhere, and it has a very international vibe. It felt, to me, a lot like being in South America, but still being in the US with all of the securities and luxuries that provides. There is also a big city feel that is very exciting. I may still end up there, eventually. Who knows. I’m open to possibilities.
Emma, this is all wonderful news. You’re right–sometimes the plan that we *think* we have on lock down isn’t always the right one. Miami may still be in your future, but you are sure to have a wonderful adventure in Raleigh.
Your story makes me think a little of one of my best friends from high school. She had decided when she was really young that she was going to be a lawyer, and she was all set to take the LSATs… and then the night before the exam, she got food poisoning and had to be rushed to the ER. That testing date was the very last one she could’ve taken to apply for admission right after graduating from college, and so she had to completely postpone her plans. She was devastated at first, but then she was selected for the Teach for America program and spent 2 years teaching 5th grade. Once her teaching stint was done, she got into law school, but the detour really changed her outlook and perspective. Sometimes the plans that we *think* are the best aren’t necessarily the best ones for us.
Thanks for the kind words. I do agree that things really do happen for a reason. And I believe that if I’m meant to be in Miami, that I’ll end up there eventually. I love the story about law school. I feel like I know too many people who pushed through and did the things they were supposed to do right after college. At least your friend now knows that she really wants to go to law school. It would be disappointing to find that out midstream.
[...] a tremendous life lesson Emma Burcart shares with us. Sometimes our dreams don’t turn out “just” as pictured them but if we keep an open mind, sometimes what is presented to us is even BETTER! Share [...]