When I decided to move to Miami I had a certain picture in my mind. I thought I’d get a job ahead of time and have an apartment waiting for me when I got there.
That didn’t happen.
As my deadline for leaving came closer, I took the leap of faith and figured it would work out. I knew Portland wasn’t the place for me. Leaving just felt right.
So I left.
With no job or place to stay, and not a whole lot in savings, I took a detour from Miami and asked one of my best friends if I could stay with her in Raleigh.
It would be a quick, fun trip. One week in her guest room while I applied for jobs and interviewed by phone. If I needed to, I could drive down to Miami in one day or get a flight for pretty cheap.
It’s been a month and I’m still here.
I’m doing everything within my power. I’m applying for jobs, talking to the people in HR, and emailing principals personally. But I can’t force it.
It’s like trying to squeeze that last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. I can see it, but as soon as I pick up the toothbrush, it shrinks back inside the tube.
Sometimes there really is nothing we can do. Except wait.
Being patient is so much harder than doing something. Anything. So every few days I look through Craigslist in frustration. And sometimes I even apply for jobs I couldn’t do and that wouldn’t pay me enough to survive.
It’s a strange thing to realize that I’m patient with children, but not with myself or with life in general. I want what I want and I want it now. It doesn’t help that we live in a time of next day delivery and credit cards. We don’t usually have to wait for what we want. We can have it now, and pay for it later.
But that’s not going to work this time. Waiting is all I can do.
So, wait is what I’ll do.
And in the meantime I can hang out with my bestie and play with her kids. I can explore the city where I am right now and enjoy the newness. I can write and I can read. I can just be.
I will get impatient again, probably soon. But, when that happens, I’m going to take a deep breath. Instead of opening Craigslist or checking the postings one more time, I’m just going to wait.
Maybe at an outdoor mall with an iced coffee in my hand.
What have you had a hard time waiting for? Are you patient or do you want things now? What do you do when you have trouble waiting? I could use some ideas!