Waiting Is The Hardest Part
Every minute feels like an hour when you’re waiting…
When I decided to move to Miami I had a certain picture in my mind. I thought I’d get a job ahead of time and have an apartment waiting for me when I got there.
That didn’t happen.
As my deadline for leaving came closer, I took the leap of faith and figured it would work out. I knew Portland wasn’t the place for me. Leaving just felt right.
So I left.
With no job or place to stay, and not a whole lot in savings, I took a detour from Miami and asked one of my best friends if I could stay with her in Raleigh.
It would be a quick, fun trip. One week in her guest room while I applied for jobs and interviewed by phone. If I needed to, I could drive down to Miami in one day or get a flight for pretty cheap.
It’s been a month and I’m still here.
I’m doing everything within my power. I’m applying for jobs, talking to the people in HR, and emailing principals personally. But I can’t force it.
It’s like trying to squeeze that last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. I can see it, but as soon as I pick up the toothbrush, it shrinks back inside the tube.
Sometimes there really is nothing we can do. Except wait.
Being patient is so much harder than doing something. Anything. So every few days I look through Craigslist in frustration. And sometimes I even apply for jobs I couldn’t do and that wouldn’t pay me enough to survive.
It’s a strange thing to realize that I’m patient with children, but not with myself or with life in general. I want what I want and I want it now. It doesn’t help that we live in a time of next day delivery and credit cards. We don’t usually have to wait for what we want. We can have it now, and pay for it later.
But that’s not going to work this time. Waiting is all I can do.
So, wait is what I’ll do.
And in the meantime I can hang out with my bestie and play with her kids. I can explore the city where I am right now and enjoy the newness. I can write and I can read. I can just be.
I will get impatient again, probably soon. But, when that happens, I’m going to take a deep breath. Instead of opening Craigslist or checking the postings one more time, I’m just going to wait.
Maybe at an outdoor mall with an iced coffee in my hand.
What have you had a hard time waiting for? Are you patient or do you want things now? What do you do when you have trouble waiting? I could use some ideas!
I’d love to keep the conversation going, so if you want to chat find me on facebook or follow me on Twitter.
I am not patient at all. I hate waiting. Waiting for an answer from editors or agents. Waiting for my replacement to be trained enough that I can step back and work a regular 40 hour week(leaving more time and energy for writing). And, I’m still kid enough at heart, that waiting for Christmas is hard.
I can’t just sit and wait. I immerse myself in work: writing fiction, blog posts, letters. When I’m in a new place, I walk everywhere. I visit every park and free exhibit I can and take as many pictures as I can. I spend lots of time in the local library – I read a lot. And I mutter curses a lot.
I did something similar to what you’re doing mumbly mumbly years ago. Being a nurse, I was able to get a job pretty quickly. But it was still hard. Being in a new city, trying to make friends and get comfortable with new places are big tasks. It also means you are experiencing all kinds of new things. Stay open, Emma. Keep your faith that what you are doing is right for you. You’ll find what you need. I have faith in you.
Thank you, Lynette! Those are some great ideas. There are so many outdoor places here that I can check out, and I had never thought of trying libraries or museums. And finding things to take pictures of is also great! You’ve given me a whole list of things to do. Although, I’m sure I’ll still put coffee on the list.
I’m glad to hear that you did it, too, and it worked out. Knowing that I am doing the right thing for me, and that is has happened to others before sure helps. Thanks again.
I hear ya Emma. Patience is not a virtue of mine either. But it sounds like you got the right attitude and Lynette did give you a ton of great ideas. It sounds like many adventures to enjoy on the checklist while you wait for things to fall into place.
I think the hardest thing I ever had to wait for was hubby. A serial dater, I went from man to man for years. After my divorce and a couple “aha” moments, I decided to wait for my Mr. Right and wasn’t going to settle for another douchebag. It was hard. But so worth it….
I know all your waiting will pay off in the end…keep the faith!!!
You are right. It is always worth the wait, isn’t it? It seems like waiting for the right man is easier, but maybe that’s because you don’t have to stay in your friend’s guest room while you wait. Heehee.
Yes, I will concentrate on enjoying where I am in the meantime. Just like you did while waiting for your hubby.
I wish you much success in finding what you’re looking for in Florida. I know this isn’t anything you’ve actually planned, but I know people who have gotten work at Disney. It’s not Miami, but at least it would be in the state, and that might look better to potential employers. Do I have trouble waiting for anything. Usually not. But when I do, it’s usually something silly…like an especially good episode of Teen Wolf or Parenthood.
That’s funny! Usually I have a hard time waiting for silly things, too. But I’ve never not had a job and a place to live before, so this is all new for me. I have been looking at jobs in other cities close to Miami. I’ll keep looking and keep my options open. Thanks for the suggestions and the support!
Oh, you must be going bonkers. I know I would be. I’m glad you are with your friend and still able to enjoy that time but I do get the frustration of forced-patience. If I’m going to be patient, I want it to be on my terms, which I realize makes no sense because if it were on my terms, I’d get what I want immediately. Ha!
Hang in there! There is a reason you have to be in limbo.
Yes, I am going a little bonkers. And making lots of lists, which is strange for me. Guess I need something to be in control of. Thank you for pointing out that there is a reason for this. I do believe that things happen for a reason. So, there is a lesson in all this waiting. Maybe it’s just to be more patient?
Oh Emma, you are under so much stress. This economy takes a lot of patience. And sometimes we just run out. A move is HUGE, let alone having no job and no place of your own. I understand perfectly Emma what you’re going through. Like yourself, I and others are going through similiar situations. You get to a point where you feel stuck. You can only push a rope so far and it won’t move. Well, a lot of commenters on my post this week are letting out a roar, along with the lions. I say scream if you have to. Well, not in front of your friends kids of course. But I bet you feel like screaming. Take deep slow breathes Emma and hang in there. Thanks so much for letting us know how you are. And stay in touch. We care about you!
Thanks for your support. I am trying to take it easy and not stress too much. I really do believe it will all work out in the end. I hope that is true for you and everyone else, too. It seems like patience and trust are really linked together.
Good luck with finding a job. It’s great that you can spend the time while searching with a friend.
I am very bad at patience. My mind starts instantly looking for the next shiny object. The most difficult wait for me so far was when me and hubby got fertility treatments and had to wait for the results. But it paid off and now we have lovely twins
And they’re even worse than me at patience
They’re great teachers.
Oh, yes, kids are great examples of how not to be patient! The problem is sometimes we adults over-estimate our patience in comparison. I’m glad to hear the waiting paid off for you and your family!
[...] now I’m staying with friends. I don’t have any space that is actually mine. I thought it would be short term, and maybe I [...]
Ugh! I hate waiting! But it’s really all we have within our control. Patience. We take the actions we’re able to but beyond that, we have to just wait.
I had a similar week. And it’s so much easier said than done. There’s all the what ifs and what if nots but really the only thing that’s real, is what is. Hang in there
Oh, the What-if’s get me every time! I used to get them over small stuff, too. Like what if I had chosen the chocolate peanut butter ice cream instead of the rocky road? So silly. I guess that means it’s more about me than the situation. Hmm. You are right about patience. It is all we can do. I’ll have to work on remembering that.