After a break up most people tell you to get back out there and date. It takes the next guy to get over the last guy. That’s what we always hear.
Some people call it a rebound. Others say he’s the in-between guy. The bridge between one serious relationship and the next.
I have never been able to bridge successfully.
Either one of two things happens.
1. I spend the whole time thinking about the last guy.
Comparing how they are different, and usually, how the ex is so much better. Taller, funnier, has better taste in restaurants. The ex always comes out ahead. Maybe the known is always better than the unknown.
2. I fall head over heels way too soon.
I know he’s supposed to be the bridge guy. He’s just the one you date until the next “real” boyfriend comes along. But he’s funny and cute, and hey, he’s there. The next thing you know I’m planning a future with the rebound guy. And we all know how that turns out.
Either way, we already know he isn’t the one. That’s not who he was supposed to be. We weren’t ready for the real thing yet. So why do we need the in-between?
We know the man sitting across from us at the restaurant or next to us in the movie theater is just filling in a spot. He’s a place holder. Until something better comes along.
That just doesn’t feel right to me.
There’s a difference between dating a guy to find out if we’re compatible and dating him just to have someone to date.
So this time I decided to take my time. No bridge for me.
I’ve been enjoying my time out on the lake, instead of trying to get to the other side. I figure it’s better to spend my time having fun and living my life than to practice dating with someone I don’t actually want to be with.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I think that I’ll find my way to land when the time is right. And in the meantime, I’ll be having too much fun to care when it happens.
How do you get over a break up? Do you date someone else right away? Or do you take your time until the next right for you guy comes along?
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