I Have Other Talents
Look what I can do! Almost.
The other night I went out to Karaoke with some friends. We were excited, so we went early and got a table close to the stage. I have been doing a lot of work on myself lately, and I felt like I was taking my new, confident self out. I was ready to get up there and sing badly, because it is fun.
We ordered drinks and watched the other tables fill up. People weren’t dressed like they were out for a good time. One woman even came in her housecoat. I figured it was going to be a casual crowd. That would be good for my Karaoke debut.
Then the lights dimmed and the DJ came up to the stage. He sang a song I’ve never heard of, but of course he was good. Otherwise they wouldn’t have given him the job. While he was doing his solo the shiny silver ball on the ceiling started turning and colored strobe lights flashed onto him.
It was a party atmosphere.
One of my friends wanted to sing right away, so she put in for a song by herself. I figured that she sang about as good as I do and she was just ready to have fun. We all worried a little when she chose a Shakira song. That woman can do things with her voice that I don’t even understand.
I underestimated my friend.
She got up there and sang! She even did that wobbly voice thing that Shakira is famous for. People in the bar clapped along during the song and cheered afterwards. I was amazed. I had no idea my friend could sing like that.
That is when the fear started to set in. People going up on stage could sing. Really sing. For me, Karaoke had always been about drunk fun. I took it as seriously as singing in the shower. The thing is, I’m not actually good at singing. Sometimes I jokingly use it as a punishment with children. Do what I say or I’m going to sing you a song. It always works.
As the night progressed I had a few cocktails and got in the mood to sing, even badly. Three of us went up together to sing “Like a virgin” because no one takes Madonna seriously.
With the bright lights in my face and the words flashing by on the computer screen, I was terrified. Faces in the audience stared up at me like, “What is she doing?” I could tell they wanted me to shut up and sit down. They were not having fun.
Which meant I had trouble having fun. If I turned away from the audience and focused on my friends and the song, it was a blast. When the song was over and we went to sit down I started wondering, when did Karaoke become so serious?
I felt a pressure to be good and talented in order to get up on stage. I wanted to tell the people at the other tables that I have other talents, singing just isn’t one of them. Does that mean that I shouldn’t get up and have fun?
Then it dawned on me that I was the one putting pressure on myself. We do it all the time. Maybe it’s because we’re women. I’m not sure. But we seem to think that we have to be perfect at everything we do. If I can’t do it well, then I shouldn’t do it at all.
But there is no such thing as perfect.
And no one can be good at everything.
Sure, there were plenty of people there that night who could sing well. But they might not be able to change a diaper with one hand, tell a funny story off the top of their heads, or write a book. We all have things we’re good at and things we’re not. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do the things that we aren’t good at and just have fun.
I may not be a good singer. But I know how to have fun.
So when the DJ called our names again, I got up there with my friends and sang “Faith”. I stopped worrying about the people out at the tables and thought about how much fun I was having. I danced and sang and didn’t think about how close the microphone was to my mouth. It was even ok if they heard my voice. And, really, that’s the way George Michael would have wanted it.
Sometimes we need to let go of the pressure to be perfect and just have a good time.
We can’t be good at everything.
Do you feel pressure to do everything well? Are you willing to try things you aren’t good at?
Oh, Emma, I love this post. I am one of those people unable to let go. Since childhood, i’ve only done things that I knew I would succeed at. I’ve gotten a pinch better since having kids because I don’t want them to be that way (unfortunately, my oldest is, but he’ll never admit it). Writing for publication has been the only real risk I’ve ever taken. To put myself out there without knowing what would happen.
Great post!
Yes, writing for publication is a huge risk! Maybe that’s why the query letters are the hardest part for me. The putting myself out there to be rejected is terrifying. Maybe I need to start putting some of this Karaoke-courage into my queries. Thanks for the idea! And, I’m glad to know that it’s genetic. I can blame my parents.
There just isn’t any way I could get up on a stage an attempt to sing. I know I can’t sing, never pretended I could. I can’t hold a tune for the life of me. I’m not afraid of public speaking, I can do that, but singing, not this guy. There isn’t enough whiskey in a bar to get me to sing. You got more (insert favorite adjective here) than I do Em.
Balls. I’m going with balls.
It isn’t just singing. Being able to do something that you’re not good at or that doesn’t come easy for you is important. I think we need to remember to have fun and stop worrying so much about how good we are.
Kudos to you for getting up there and having fun! Karaoke’s a scary one for me, too – I can carry a tune, but it would be a stretch to say I’m good. So I pick songs that suit my voice and ability, like “Yellow Submarine” which is also a song people know is just plain fun! (And yes, I sound just like Ringo Starr, LOL). Nothing wrong with stretching oneself, but I don’t have the guts to do so in front of an audience.
Thanks. I have to say, if it’s all about fun then it shouldn’t matter whether or not we are good. Why can’t we just be ok with having fun? That’s what I’m going to try and focus on, in other areas too.
I am with you. To me, Karaoke is about having a few drinks and letting er’ rip singing (well or badly, either are just as good) and having FUN!!! That’s what it’s all about…letting go, getting on stage and having fun and I am thrilled that by the end of the night, you were able to let go and just enjoy it for what it meant to you.
I am the same way. I struggle sometime caring about what other people think, worrying, or sometimes putting what I think to be other people’s expectations/perceptions onto myself (when God only knows WHAT people are thinking…LOL)! It’s hard to let go. To focus only on us and what we want and think and feel but…it’s GREAT practice when you get the opportunity and AMEN to you for doing it well.
I think a night of bad karaoke is on the horizon for me! LOL!!
Oh, I can see it in your future! And if you are there with a bunch of super talented singers, just remember that you have other talents!
It is all about fun. Maybe we need to focus on fun more often. After all, isn’t that kind of the point?
I’m shy and introverted–and I can’t sing. But for some reason I like Karaoke! My fave song is Pat Benatar’s Hit me with your best shot. Which is kind of a threat when I think about it–like I’m daring someone to tell me I suck. LOL
That’s a good one! But I thought it was a love song, like hit me with your love or something. But I could be wrong.
I’m glad that you have fun with it, even if you’re no Celine Dion (heehee). That is what Karaoke is for.
This is definitely me
I don’t know if I was born a perfectionist or if I became that way growing up, but I feel a huge pressure to be perfect at everything I do. It does hold me back from trying things, and I don’t like that at all. Thanks for the reminder to keep working on it!
Yeah, maybe sometimes we need to make a joke out of it and make our goal to do something as badly as possible. That way if we aren’t good, at least we are winning at being bad! I think I might try that.
I needed to hear this, this morning. Thank you.
I’m so glad it helped! Thanks for checking it out.
Oh well, I can’t sing to save my life. I think there are a lot of us in that bucket. I have had friends that took it so seriously, but hell! It’s meant to be fun. I’m like you though, I didn’t ever want to get up there because I knew I wouldn’t sing well. You are braver than me and I applaud you. Yay!
If it’s all in good fun, it shouldn’t matter what we sound like, right? Thanks for your singing support!
I was a musician for a number of years, and I wonder if that’s related to the fact that I’m not a perfectionist. I post my writing as I write it (as a serial), so occasionally there are little glitches that I have to go back and fix later, but it doesn’t really bother me. Things going wrong on stage are worse than anything that can happen in telling stories. So, I think, what’s the worst that can happen? Somebody will see my typo or my awkward sentence. Well, that’s pretty small potatoes, really. I still remember playing one song where the lead guitarist was so drunk that he got all the way to the first chorus before he realized he was playing a different song than the rest of us (tip: always mix pre-show alcohol with caffeine).
Or, as I talk about in my current blog post, maybe it was the early influence of Dark Shadows. I was obsessed with that show (still am, I guess) even though alarming numbers of things went wrong. It didn’t diminish it at all in my eyes.
Wow. I can’t imagine the pressures of being a musician. I have to admit that drinks helped with my performance, although I don’t actually know what it sounded like.
You are probably right about the experience of performing. I bet you get used to it eventually.
I may be too comfortable stinking at what I stink at. LOL Either that, or secret insecurity keeps me from trying until improve. Hmm…
Such an insightful post, Emma! Love the photo, and the way most any life happening can inspire fantastic posts in your hands.
Aww, thanks, August. That makes me feel great. You might be really comfortable at not being good at everything. I ber there are some of you folks out there. Just not me or anyone I know. LOL
[...] Burcart has a great post about trying things even if you’re not good at them. I have a particular fondness for this post because she talks about singing karaoke even if [...]
Great post, Emma. I’m a perfectionist, and what other people think doesn’t usually stop me from doing something – it’s knowing that I could have done better. I can sing, not great but at least half-decently, but any off the cuff singing is sure to contain some sour notes and I’m thoroughly embarrassed. Let me practice so I can do it in front of people with the same, um, semi-skill? that I have on my own. Unlike Anthony in his comment, I do NOT post my writing before it’s ready to see. I would look at it, see all it’s problems, and cringe! That’s why I like writing – I get to edit my words until they say what I want, as opposed to foot-in-mouth disease.