Like most women, I’ve had good relationships and bad relationships. Hopefully I’ve learned something from each one. We have all been told by older and wiser women that we have to go through those relationships ourselves in order to learn the lessons. They can’t just tell us what we need to know.
As I’ve grown and changed with each relationship, I realized that I am re-learning lessons I knew a long time ago.
It may be strange to say, but I did have a very healthy relationship in my past. When I was in third grade. The things that came so naturally back then are the things I won’t settle on now.
We were friends first. That may sound kind of crazy, because what else is there when you are nine? But you might be surprised. Me and my first boyfriend, we only progressed to hand holding and pecking, thankfully. There were kids our age doing more. But we didn’t start with the elementary school love note that asked: Will you go out with me? There was no yes box or no box, or even a maybe box for us. We were already best friends.
I set the standards for how I’d be treated. And I stuck to them. There was also another girl who liked my boyfriend. He was the cutest boy in school, after all, and the first one to grow his hair into a rat tail. He tried what many men have tried on womankind since. He tried to date us both. He and I were not only friends, but we lived down the street from each other. So, he proposed that I be his Home girlfriend and the other girl could be his School GF. I told him no. It was all or nothing. He couldn’t have me and someone else. And guess what? He chose me.
I never did anything before I was ready. Even at the age of nine, boys tried to see how far they could go. My third grade boyfriend told me how he heard about something called French Kissing. He said he wanted to try it. Once he explained it, I knew it wasn’t for me. Not at nine years old. I told him no and not to ask me again. I’d let him know when I was ready. Probably around the time we turned fifteen. He may have been disappointed, but he never told me about it. Because he knew I wouldn’t back down.
As an adult I can look back on my first relationship and see that it taught me a lot. Pretty much everything I needed to know about romance I learned in third grade.
When was your first relationship? What did your first love teach you?