Who’s Your Valentine?
So the big day is coming up. Valentine’s Day. When everyone in a relationship looks forward to romance, candy, and maybe a gift. And everyone who is single gets a great big reminder as we sit home alone and watch re-runs.
Even children understand the concept. When one recently asked me who my valentine was going to be, I tried to be clever and avoid the subject by suggesting he be mine. The kid looked at me like I’d told him the Power Rangers were breaking up and said, “You’re supposed to go on a date for Valentine’s Day.” Then he walked away shaking his head.
Every year up until now, I would’ve agreed with him. I always made plans.
In a relationship, I’d expect some big deal that usually just turned into dinner. And maybe a movie. I would always build it up in my head so that the real thing could never be good enough. Candles, flowers, music, love poems, and later a bathtub filled with rose petals. Doesn’t happen that often outside of Hollywood.
Then there were the single years. Like the break-up that comes on February 10th, which we all know is just an excuse to get out of Valentine’s Day. You always get back together in March, once the pressure is off. Those are the times when V Day turned into a single-girl backlash holiday. We’d get together for an Anti-Valentine’s Day celebration. Maybe joke about calling it VD and how lucky we were that we weren’t going to catch it. Martinis and dinner and talking about how great it is to be single. And how much men suck. And couples, they suck too.
Obviously I wasn’t happy to be single if I had to say it so loud, and hate others in the process.
Well, this year is different. I don’t have a romantic date and I’m actually ok with being single. I don’t need to make big I-Hate-Valentine’s-Day plans. Because I don’t hate it. I can let the lovers have their day. I will get cute cards from friends and kids. There will be candy hearts, chocolate, and teddy bears that make kissing sounds when you squeeze them. Valentine’s Day is just going to be about having fun.
There will be a time when I get to have a Valentine’s date, but until then I’m happy to spend the day just being. This year, my valentine is me.
How do you feel about Valentine’s Day when you’re single? In a relationship? Does it ever live up to the hype?
Love that – this year my valentine is me! Amen girl!
Honestly, I’ve spent a lot of Valentine’s Day single and never had an issue with it. I am not sure why. It never registered high on my scale either way. A romantic at heart, I think I always loved seeing other people happy and embracing their romantic side. We all get our turn kind of thing. LOL!
Now married to the world’s MOST romantic man, Valentine’s Days are epic. LOL! It’s nice. What I look forward to most is the card. He picks the most delicious cards and writes the most incredible things inside and that’s what makes my heart flip. Flowers and singing balloons are wonderful (last year it was a giant stuffed heart with legs wearing jean shorts – he still resides in my office and brings smiles to people who visit me) but it’s the true sentiment of love that matters most.
And you are right…you don’t need to be in a relationship to enjoy LOVE!!!!
You totally give me so much hope! I love seeing that you didn’t settle and you ended up with an amazing man. I’m not willing to settle, either. And I’ll get plenty of love and chocolate tomorrow, even without a man!
Happy being you–that’s awesome.
This holiday only bugged me when I was in high school–especially when they did those carnation flower sales that got delivered while you were in class.
If wish I knew then that it was more than ok to send flowers to my friends, even to myself.
Oh, man, I hated those things. You’d sit there and wait to see if someone thought to send one to you. Luckily, by senior year my BFF and I figured it out and sent each other roses. It doesn’t matter who it’s from, it just feels so good to get one!
I never did like Valentines day. Plus when I was single, I never had a date for Valentines. Now that I’m married, which I never thought I’d be, it’s not that big of a deal to me, sure my husband does something special like bring me chocolates and flowers… but the celebration I do celebrate love is on our anniversary. Valentine day is about celebraing friendship for me, it’s a day you have a chance to tell your friends and family that loves them.
I love that! Friendship day. That is what I try and tell children, it’s a day for friends. Plus, any day is a good day for chocolate!
I, too, love that your Valentine is You. Perfect! Sweet sentiment.
For me, Valentines’ Day is about fun, pink, candy, and traditions. It’s not about expectations. Sure, when I was younger, I thought it was supposed to be the most romantic day of the year. I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed, tho, because as I’ve gotten older, I’ve embraced it for what it is.. a day to send cute, child-like Valentine cards, make red velvet cake, and give out fun red, pink, and white candies. Tulips sent to my mom, my mother-in-law, and a friend who needs a pick-me-up,Tootsie Pops for work mates, and something cute and special for dinner makes the day special for me.
Tonight, my husband will make his traditional Valentine’s Day Lamb Stew, I’ll pick up a bottle of champagne, and make a chocolate dessert. We’ll sit at the table as a family and use our Valentine’s Day plates on top of our red place mats. For me, it’s about traditions, and remembering what it’s like to be a kid on Valentine’s Day.
Sounds like a great tradition! I love all the pink. And special dinner. Great idea!
This is my fourth Valentine’s Day with my husband. The first Valentine’s Day together, he was super worried because he had this idea that Valentine’s Day was a make-or-break event for all women and he’d lose me if he screwed it up. I think I may have finally convinced him that’s not the case
Sure, I like chocolate, and it’s nice to do something special, but I also think relationships have enough pressure on them (especially when they’re new) and I don’t see the point in adding more. I feel really weird saying this, like I’m betraying womanhood or something, but I’d rather be shown love every day than have my husband get an ulcer trying to plan one perfect day.
I think being shown love everyday is a wonderful thing! You are not betraying womanhood! You are setting us on the right path. I love that idea!
It always seems to fall during the week and the hubby always comes home late. Plus we have kids now. It’s mostly about them which is pretty cool. They pass out their cards to the class and come home with their 20 or 30 from everyone else. We would usually make it that one special day we would order sushi for dinner, if he would make it home in time. But nothing crazy. It’s a school night, as he calls it. We all get up early the next morning. I guess we are like old married folks. Boring?
I say anything that makes a day a tradition is awesome. Sushi is a great tradition to start. Healthy and fun. And really, shouldn’t it be about the kids, too? It is a day of love and friendship. That is not boring.
Hmmm, Feb. 14 is my dog Wolfgang’s birthday. Oh yeah, and some silly holiday. For my gift, my husband left town LOL! Shows you how big a deal it is to us. I remember when I was in college, one of my friends described it as, “the holiday that’s fun for half the population, and makes the rest of us feel like crap.” I couldn’t argue back then! Now, it’s just… my dog’s birthday.
How funny! It is also the birthday of the state of Oregon and one of my cousins. Maybe they should celebrate all together. Happy Birthday Wolfgang, Adam, and Oregon!
Last Thursday, I got all bent out of shape. I was grumpy with my boyfriend. I couldn’t really understand why, then it dawned on me: I had high expectation for the “potential” of what tomorrow could hold for me. When I realized it wouldn’t be worth it because who wants to anticipate and then be disappointed, I changed my frame of thought. I began to think of how I could make Valentine’s Day really special for my guy…. now tomorrow is just about showing him how much I love him. I can’t wait to let him know how loved he is.
That is really special, to make it about giving and not just getting. Sometimes we put way too much pressure on others without thinking about what we are doing for them. It does need to go both ways. Kuddos to you for discovering that! He is a lucky guy.
Valentine’s Day is my mom’s birthday, so it’s always been about family love and friend love as much as anything, and now like Debra said, it’s about my kids too. I love that you get cards from friends and children, Emma; that’s why i do my best to send valentines or chocolate to my single girlfriends, especially the ones who might be sitting home lamenting a breakup. I love to share the love! That’s what it’s about for me.
I love the idea of sending chocolate to friends. And as a single, I can say it would be appreciated. I am lucky that I have kids in my life who give me candy on holidays, but there are plenty of people who don’t. What a nice tradition to start! Thanks for sharing.